“Notorious Vampire”
Biggie Smalls vs. Vampire Weekend
oh my goodness
(via vampire-weekend)
Here’s the raw interview footage of those two white trash dumpster rats who robbed a Girl Scout of her cookie money in broad daylight in front of a Florida Winn Dixie.
I love this video. It’s like an underground trailer for Harmony Korine’s “Spring Breakers.” It’s pitch perfect, a delicious little slice of uncut American narcissism.
These tacky little cunts have no guilt. They have no shame. They’re stupid, shallow, Starbucks-swilling sociopaths.
Of course you hate them. You’re supposed to hate them. That’s the whole point, though. You’re not supposed to reflect. You’re just supposed to react.
By all means, hate these two little pieces of shit. Hating them is cheap and easy and it feels good, but while we’re at it, let’s also take a hot minute and recognize ourselves.
This is our culture. This is who we are, and not even at our worst. These girls are perfectly average. They had an average public education in an average middle class neighborhood in an average city. They are average American teenage girls in every way.
That’s the most wonderful and horrifying thing about this video. It’s inescapable fucking poetry about the American experience filled with Girl Scouts and what they can grow up to become.
It really is our culture. It really is who we are.
If you’re ever trying to convince your friend to do something with you that’s really not that fun over text, just use this —> ;D face after everything you say, and you’ll convince them to do it!
Let’s look at a personal example. Oki Yoshidi’s persuasion abilities are not up to par. In fact, THEY SUCK! However, the little ;D face will change everything. But first, let us just see how much Oki Yoshidi’s persuasion abilities TOTALLY SUCK!
Oki Yoshidi*: Hey Colleen do you volunteer with [insert volunteer organization here]?
Colleen: I don’t what that is!
Oki Yoshidi: Oh well they are doing this medical supply sorting thing and I remember that you did that a while back, and I thought we could maybe do it together, but I guess not.
Colleen: Yeah I guess not. I’m sorry Oki Yoshidi!
Oki Yoshidi: I guess I’ll just have to fight this one alone.
Colleen: You’re Oki Yoshidi, you can do anything!
Oki Yoshidi: Well, can you come and do it with me?
Colleen: NO. DON’T TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN.
Didn’t I tell you, Oki Yoshidi’s persuasion abilities TOTALLY SUCK! Now, let’s take a second look at that conversation. This time Oki Yoshidi tried using the ;D face:
Oki Yoshidi*: Hey Colleen do you volunteer with [insert volunteer organization here]?
Colleen: I don’t what that is!
Oki Yoshidi: Oh well they are doing this medical supply sorting thing and I remember that you did that a while back, and I thought we could maybe do it together, but I GUESS NOT.
Colleen: Yeah I guess not. I’m sorry Oki Yoshidi!
Oki Yoshidi: I guess I’ll just have to fight this one alone.
Colleen: You’re Oki Yoshidi, you can do anything!
Oki Yoshidi: Yeah, I GUESS. But it would be so much better if I just had a friend to go with me ;D ;D. It’s on June 16th you know ;D ;D.
Colleen: Well yesh, this is true.
Oki Yoshidi: You’re not busy then, are you?? ;D
Colleen: Not that I know of. Oki yoshidid, you have this twitch in your eye, you should probably get that checked.
Oki Yoshidi: ;D Hey, maybe you can COME VOLUNTEER WITH ME THEN ;D
Colleen: MAYBE I CAN ;D
Oki Yoshidi: OMG YAY ;D Would you really do that??? ;D
Colleen: If I’m not bus that day ;D Is it a morning shift? ;D
Oki Yoshidi: 12 to 3 is that okay? ;D
Colleen: Oh I see ;D yeah! ;D it’s cool! ;D see you then ;D
Wow! Whoever knew Oki Yoshidi could be such a wonderful sales person??!?! And did you notice how the ;D face was contagious, and spread to Colleen?
This is just proof of how ;D this face can be so convincing. Go ahead and try it out when you’re trying to convince your friends to go with you to Church, or to accompany you to the next school dance!
*Apparently, this means you have a big butt in Japanese.
This year sucked. I’m not sure how and if I’m going to be able to enjoy summer. That sentiment is laced with the longing to make my life meaningful outside of myself, but not having the motivation or means to do so. I mean, I guess I could like volunteer at a soup kitchen or something. But I dunno, I feel like my mother would just turn that into an argument into how I don’t care about college, since I haven’t made the effort to take yet another set of classes to boost my ACT score this summer. And the truth is I really don’t care about taking ACT classes ever again.
what to do, what to do.
(via healthypunk)
(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via healthypunk)
(Source: andreweargle, via illiejane)
